Unfinished: Strut Your Slut (October 2003)

Pressure's closing in on me
like riding the Double G
after 4th period class
I'm stuck in a mass of traffic
and I'm having trouble handling shit
like Tillett
it's just passing through
people keep asking me what I'm gonna do
with my life so I tell them
"I'm going to win the lottery
and become a dilettante."
Was that not the response you wanted?
I'm allowed to use big words now
that's why I'm in college
but you think I'm wasting time
waiting in line on Union Street
for the Thursday night
Strut Your Slut
when dingy basements become
pits on smut
where half dressed girls
and fully drunk frat boys
guzzle down Beast
and keep making noise
thrashing about to wack-ass Nelly songs
till the girls get trashed
and the guys come on strong
and remind us why we buy
into that utterly wrong notion
that this is the STD capital
of the world

Scene: Hurtado Health Center
Enter: Me, suffering from a sinus infection, approachign the reception desk, a sniffling sneezing and feverish mess, when I am told to
just fill out this form about your sexual history...
-excuse me, I'm not pregnant
...how many people you've done it with and how often you do it...
-I said I'm not pregnant
...we also need to know if you've done oral or anal and we need to know which way you swing...
-listen to me! The problem is up here, not down there, bitch! I'm not pregnant!
Oh, ok. Well, just sit right there
and we'll be with you momentarily
we'll push the Pill on you anyway
as a precautionary measure
don't worry about it
it's our pleasure to misdiagnose
every girl that walks through our door
(we know you're all whores anyway)

waiting in line on Union Street
for the Thursday night
Strut Your Slut
when dingy basements become
pits of smut
where half dressed girls
and fully drunk frat boys
guzzle down Beast
and keep making noise
thrashing about to wack-ass Nelly songs
till the girls get trashed
and the guys come on strong
and remind us why we buy
into that utterly wrong notion
that drinking beer in basements is cool